Mary
by Sakiku
Summary: In Endless Waltz, Heero remembers a little girl that died when one of his missions had gone bad. This is a story of what had happened back then.


**Mary**

"Hey, Mary, come here!"

Happily, the golden-furred puppy bounced towards the little girl standing in the center of a wide, green field of grass. The dog was panting excitedly, jumping around her and trying to catch the hem of her pristinely white dress that was fluttering in the calm breeze.

"No Mary, bad Mary! That's my best dress, can't have your slobber on it!"

The sun highlighted thousands of small freckles on her nose as she bent down to pet the exuberant quadruped. Her golden hair that was just a shade darker than the canine's fur fell forward in a curtain of light, dipping her childish features in a mellow twilight beneath an equally white hat, her wide, blue eyes shining laughingly from beneath it. Playfully snapping after her hand, the puppy jumped and tumbled around, finally trying to climb onto her lap. When its chubby paws treaded against the girl's dress, she gently shoved the puppy away, tapping a short digit against its nose.

"No, Mary, you know you can't do that. Mom will be really angry when I come home with grass stains."

The wagging tail never decreased its velocity as the puppy ignored its Mistress's command and avidly strove to lick her face. The girl squealed in laughter, tumbling backwards into the soft grass as she lost her balance thanks to an all-out assault of the dog, the hat she was wearing for protection against the bright sun refusing to stay on the curly blond locks. Cleverly taking the opportunity, the canine climbed on top of her and buried its cold snout in her neck, its tongue licking for all it was worth.

Rolling on the grass in a futile attempt to move away from the tickling, the girl tried to scold the little canine in between helpless peals laughter, completely oblivious to the fact that the grass stains she had tried to keep away from her white Sunday dress were rubbed right across her back.

"Bad Mary, really bad! Don't lick my face, no stop it, you are such a bad girl! What will Mom say… Mary!"

Finally, she managed to push the puppy off her chest and hastily scrambled towards her feet, a comical look on her face as she tried to look grimly at the excited pet. "Now look what you have done! It's all wrinkled!"

Brushing her chubby hands across the fabric, she almost wrenched her head in a droll attempt to get a better look at her backside, but that almost made her loose her balance again. A small breeze blew the fine hairs out of her face, and when she looked down, she saw the puppy nudging her leg with her hat that had fallen off during their bout of mock-wrestling. Joyously, she hugged the little canine.

"Oh, thanks Mary, can't believe I lost it. Good girl, Mary, good girl."

Petting the dog behind its flapping ears with slightly clumsy child's hands, she soon chased off again behind the puppy, frolicking on the sunny meadow.

Then, she saw a boy lying on the grass, arms folded behind his neck, staring into the sky. He was much older than her, tousled brown hair shadowing his eyes from the sun. At first, she didn't want to disturb him, but somehow, he looked lonely and sad. Curiously she asked: "Are you lost?"

He flinched and sat up, looking at her like a rabbit mesmerized by a snake. His expression was really funny, staring at her as if she was an alien. Giggling, she repeated. "Well, are you?"

Finding his wits again, the boy nonetheless stayed seated, knees raised slightly to support one of his arms. Contrary to all the other boys she had met, he didn't seem to mind talking to a girl. He rather sank into himself, looking pensively down onto the ground. "I've been lost all my life."

He looked so comically sad that she had swallow her laughter, but then, she saw that he was serious and she tried to cheer him up. "I'm sorry. I'm not lost, I'm walking Mary."

The puppy whose tail had been waging exuberantly eagerly tugged forwards on its leash to study the boy closer. He smiled and reached out to pet Mary behind her ears, just how she liked it. She was surprised that he wasn't like all the other boys she had met; there was no name-calling, no rough 'Go away, we don't want to play with girls.'

Giggling to herself, she twirled around once, making her dress flutter in the wind. Mary was barking again, trying to snap the hem of her dress, and he smiled at her antics as she almost managed to trip over the puppy's leash. Suddenly, she remembered that her mom had told her to come back soon, and hastily she said good bye to the nice boy, never seeing his wistful smile as he watched her chase after Mary.

* * *

Panting heavily, he strove to put as much distance between himself and the alliance base. It had been a very tight fit; he had almost been discovered while setting a charge near the ammunitions depot. Never looking behind him, he sped away from the grey, metallic cubes jutting forth from the ground behind a fence of barbed wire. If some guards saw him, they would probably think him a jogger doing his daily piece of running on the artificial grass barely covering the metallic bones of the colonies.

His tank top was already soaked with sweat, but only when he felt a safe distance between himself and the base did he stop. Looking at the detonator securely grasped in his sweaty palm, he decided to put off the task until later for no other reason that he didn't feel like it right now.

Flopping down onto the artificial grass, he looked up into the equally artificial sky the colony provided. The weather was scheduled to be 'sunny, 72°', and indeed the 'sun', a conglomeration of several thousand high-power floodlights, was burning mercilessly down on his outstretched body while he was listening to his once again regular breathing.

A gust from the colony's ventilation systems brought some coolness to his skin, tugging at the vest that was casually slung across his shoulders.

"Are you lost?"

He startled, having unconsciously registered her approach, but never thinking she'd stop and talk to him. He had reflexively sat up, looking at her and the puppy she was leading on a leash. She couldn't be more than eight, ten years old, dressed in a white Sunday dress, making her seem like an angel with her pale blond locks.

"Well, are you?", she inquired curiously when he didn't answer in favor of the danger assessment skills J had gifted him with.

The innocent question of the girl brought forth memories of the training J had made him go through, ruthlessly punishing his body until it was in the shape and had the abilities J wanted. No emotions were needed; they were week and hindered the mission. Looking exhaustedly to the ground, he thought of his former mentor and surrogate father Odin Lowe, an assassin who nevertheless had retained human qualities. He valued the advice Odin had given him the last time they'd seen each other, a ray of hope that had carried him through all the hardships he had endured under J.

Follow your heart.

But for that, he'd need a heart first; he could not remember anymore what feeling meant. "I've been lost all my life."

The girl's face saddened in a childlike expression, trying to feel with him. "I'm sorry." Then she brightened, visibly not able to be miserable for a long time. "I'm not lost. I'm walking Mary."

That was apparently the dog's name because the small puppy came closer, tail still wagging madly. It seemed as if the girl expected that he pet the dog, so he extended a hand, the one not holding the detonator. In contrast to the few guard dogs he'd seen so far, this one did not growl or bark at him; instead the small head pushed against his hand, clever, brown eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

Then, the girl seemed to remember that she was needed at home and hastily said good bye, vanishing again across the meadow like an apparition, the grass stains on her back being the only indication that she was real, no angel. For a long time, he stared after them, not quite knowing why the short meeting had touched him as much as it had. But it was people like her that he had to protect from the alliance, giving his determination to defend the colonies a new resolve.

Slowly, he got up and walked away, pressing the detonator in his hand without looking. At first, nothing was heard, but then, low growling spread behind him, increasing in its intensity until the staccato explosions of the ammunitions depot burned brighter than the colony's artificial sun. It dug deep groves into the flesh and bones of the colony, ripping through metal as if it was paper, melting it as if it was wax.

When the tingling in his ears from the shock wave abated, he heard the screams. That was nothing unusual, but the pitches were too high, too frantic for it to be only shocked bystanders and adult soldiers. It sounded like women and children, wounded and dying. In horror, he turned around, seeing what he hadn't seen before: The base was right amongst a residential area, surrounded by houses that were being showered by huge chunks of solid cement and rock, impacting into the houses with deadly force. And it was the exact direction that the little girl with her puppy had headed into.

Adrenaline was pumping through his veins as he sprinted towards where he had last seen the little girl. Searching frantically for a sign of her, he jogged through the rubble, his eyes darting this way and that way, only to perceive the amount of damage he had brought upon the residential area.

Groans and cries of the wounded filled the air which was heavy from dust, a grey fog that suffocated all artificial sunshine from above. Blood was splattered across stones, people staring around in shock, not able to believe what had happened. From a far distance, he heard sirens, men calling for their wives, mothers for their children, screams, sobbing. He didn't care, his eyes only searching for the dress that had been fluttering so prettily in the wind.

Then, finally, he saw a single white spot amongst all the debris and he ran towards it as fast as possible, not sure if he really wanted to see all the damage he'd done or not. It was her hat, a few of her hairs still clinging to it, but it was torn and dirty, soiled by the explosion that must have ripped it from her head. Nonetheless, it provided a beacon in the middle of all the blackish-grey dirt and dust illuminated by the flickering of the burning alliance base. The hat clung to a massive boulder, and when he went around the boulder, a small, motionless lump on the ground was revealed. A closer examination identified it as the lively puppy that had been jumping around her, but it was so very still. Too slack to have retained a spark of life. And there, under the boulder…

Numb fingers released their death-grip on the detonator as the full implications hit him. Turning his back to the sight he had caused, he gently picked up the dog that was still warm, cradling it in his arms as he walked away from the desperate scene where women were crying, wounded were screaming, rescue teams were shouting, bystanders were laughing hysterically.

He hadn't wanted that to happen. The charges were only supposed to reduce the military base to rubble. Why had the alliance built it so close to residential quarters? Why hadn't he taken a little bit more care when setting the charges, scouting the area first? Why did the little girl have to live so close to the base?

With bleeding hands, he dug a hole into the vengeful flesh covering the bones of the colony, not stopping until it was deep enough to bury the dog in there. Then, he left the scene, never once looking back towards the destruction he had caused. In his heart though, the desperate cries of the wounded and dying buried themselves forever, together with the memory of a torn and soiled white hat. And he never forgot the grass stains that had made the little girl so human. But in his memory, their mark of childlike innocence slowly faded from a fresh, lively green to a dusty, blood-colored red.


End file.
